Just a couple of funnies

[Deleted]

How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.


What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?
Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

[Deleted]

The Senior Driver

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

[Jcon]

I know he shouldn’t have done this, but he is 73 years old and he was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind him leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because he was taking too long to place his order. So when he got to the first window he paid for her order along with his own. The cashier must have told her what he'd done, because as they moved up she leaned out her window and waved to him and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that he had repaid her rudeness with a kindness. When he got to the second window he showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she had to go back to the end of the line and start all over again,
Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time. . . .

[Deleted]

I have a map of the United States, life size. One mile equals one mile. It's a bitch to fold it.

[Deleted]

These are both kind of old, but I like them because of the automobile/computer connection.


If Microsoft Built Cars...
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want a car that crashed twice a day?"



If Microsoft Built Cars...
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart, and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas, and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

[BUCKY]

Those are good ones, Steve!

[Deleted]

I thought I'd throw in some cartoons with the jokes.

[BUCKY]

Must be a right hand drive Chrysler Town & Country!

[Deleted]

I figured they had accidentally reversed the photo when uploading. I have see that quite a bit online. But you could be right. Maybe the photo was actually taken in England. Who knows? It's still funny.

[Jcon]

Blimey now that there is funny mate!!!

[Deleted]

  Here is another funny one.

[BUCKY]

To Chevrolet specs, no doubt!!

[Jcon]

Oh my!!!

[Deleted]

Some funny MOPAR one liners.


If Dodge made an electric car...
Would it be called a Dodge Chargeable?

The Dodge Ram has always confused me.
I mean, which should I do? Dodge it or Ram it?

[Deleted]

 I kind of thought this one was extra funny. Hopefully none of you guys will be offended. It's just a little bit risque.